Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
