meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
