ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
