He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
