Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
