if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
