Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
