You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Your penis caused this!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
