We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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