Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
