that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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