they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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