So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
