So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
