He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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