I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
