now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
