dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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