JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
