How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
