So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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