you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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