she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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