You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
