wakey wakey hands off snakey
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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