there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
