you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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