if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
