My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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