p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
