And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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