the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
