My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
