So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
