what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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