Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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