Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
