People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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