i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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