Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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