I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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