so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
