Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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