The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
