I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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