Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
