I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
