i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
