so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
