How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
