too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize